It's not the having...

Sometimes I think Anth and I have between us have reached the stage where we manage my ME so well that it has become almost invisible to us. I go weeks without a crash or a Bad Flare Day. Then something happens to rub my face in how fragile the illusion we have achieved really is.

What happened this time is that Anth got sick. Like any normal beloved, I wanted to take care of him - bring cooling drinks, tempt him with food treats, make him comfortable. After managing this for a couple days, I overreached myself - stripped the bed, remade it with cool, clean bedding, put old bedding in wash. Cue falling over completely a few hours later. In his ill state, my 'patient' was thrown back into having to be 'carer husband'.

Yes, there are so many things I miss from before ME that I used to have or do for myself. But it's the things I can no longer do for the people I care about that I miss and resent the most.