Friday, 3 September 2010
When people are nice and well-meaning but you want to strangle them anyway
Big family gathering to celebrate mum and dad's Golden Wedding Anniversary last weekend. Still recovering but the spoons were worth it.
Except when this happened. Which it did four or five times during the afternoon:
Old friend of the family: So what are you doing these days, Jane?"
Me: Well, not very much really-
OFOTF: Oooooooh, sounds very nice!
Stop. Please, please. For the love of double choc chip, rewind your mouth and engage your brain.
You know I'm 45. You can see I'm three times the size I used to be. You know I have no children. I'm not dripping diamonds. You know I used to have an adrenaline-heavy job and be very active. You can see I am limping, and sitting down with my head supported whenever possible. And most of you have heard from my parents at least once that I have ME.
What do you think is, actually, the likelihood that my reason for answering 'not very much' is going to be because of something 'very nice'?
Also - when you fail to recognise me because I'm now so fat, then pretend the failure was due to my having got a new haircut? It's kind of you, but no one is fooled. At least now I'm 45 you have all stopped asking when the baby is due, though. Let's count that as progress.